Funny thing is

you have to

keep blacking out

and waking up

and when you

don’t wake up

they throw a party

practice makes permanent

every night I fall asleep

every day I wake up

so I can fall asleep

we are a bag of chemicals

fighting to stay alive

some do bad others do good

only through the fear of pain 

do we persist we 

don’t matter the earth

is better without us

Most people live

to long for

their own good

The next day you’re dizzy

soon almost fainting

spend afternoons

in bed you’re tired

I'm a great writer

but I've written nothing

anyone wants to read 

good

as 

dead 

In Amsterdam we lived on Rooseveltlaan

in the Rivierenbuurt our courtyard

was a school’s playground the kids screamed

ran and attacked each other

I went to a hypnotist I’m afraid the plane

will crash but it won’t matter

Clinton was bombing Kosovo

it didn’t matter I walked to the Tollstraat

bought weed and drank tea the weather

was bad I didn’t notice

I was playing music writing poems

time was getting older the poems

and the songs were getting worse

eventually we moved to Koningsstraat

the people were artists the poems got worse

I didn’t play music we moved to Portugal

the people disappeared the weather was good

I noticed but the sun was bad

I didn’t write poems and I didn’t play

I kept going back to Amsterdam

everyone got older and nobody mattered

the weather was bad and I noticed