He went mad
years wanting to
be left alone
Poem at 58
seen enough
tired still
smoking drinking
heard enough
beauty’s interesting
everything else’s
not
In Copenhagen I drank and smoked a lot
nobody blamed anyone for anything
we were young and wouldn’t die for years
fucked and ate had friends that weren’t friends
no money everything was new and we didn’t give a shit
after living five years in Manhattan and Brooklyn
now almost every minute there’s a problem
the phone dings the car beeps and no one
ever stops talking I wish they would stop
I know a painter
who’s traveling
for seven years
spending his Danish
crowns on cheap hostels
wandering around
keeping a journal
taking photos
Instagraming
then going back
to give lectures
I haven’t been
home for 17 years
I haven’t kept a journal
since I was a teenager
taken a photograph
since I was thirty
and I’ve never painted
just got back from portugal hopefully
for the last time the dogs bark people
walk around yesterday dogs bark
there's more places to eat in cascais
dogs made a million euros dogs got fed
lived there 12 years no one recognizes
the dog death clean drowned laptops
in the tub dogs walk everything costs a million euros
gave away almost everything I had
you can fight go away accept the dogs
all the people have the same name
except their parents who had different same names
there was an accident on the bridge
Christ looks over Lisbon outstretched arms
antenna attached to his skull endless prayers
for dogs I went to the beach this weekend
it's only a million euros pain is Catholic
I hope for the last time had a ten gram piece
of Nepalese hash in the safe I sent down from Amsterdam
in the post ten years ago gave everything else away
because everybody takes everything dogs unhappy
in their dog world humans walking on the line behind
drunk on sleep disease money i like money but I'm alive
dogs like money they shit in the park
the Atlantic heaves and wanes storms stir the seasons
everyone forgets goes to the beach forgets what they've read
decades of poetry dumped in the trash Camões Pessoa
floating on the surface there is volleyball and the limping
frowning cheap coffee free bowls of dog water millions in dog
real estate why Spain they managed to think
dogs don't know Europe ends at the sea and the Pyrenees
I was happy in Amsterdam people walked dogs drank and smoked
on terraces where people belong now I'm really because slowly
and with suffering disappearing nobody dies and no one
is born in Portugal you are old or young you live with dogs
and you eat what they eat
My mother’s birthday was two days ago
it crossed my mind she’s been dead
two years I think condolences were posted
no one celebrated here life remembers
why she was even here in the first place
why she would show up in Portugal
and talk to strangers look for a Protestant
church in Lisbon because Jesus always
seems to be dying in the Catholic ones
I remember sitting in Cascais
when Gene was alive out there
in Pinhal Novo Jeff and I would
drive across the river to see him
one time he showed us around
We ate but we didn’t buy anything
Sitting in Cascais I forgot to know
anybody unless I needed to
everywhere a plane away
Gene was still alive Jeff
still out there
Fête de la Musique
28 years later drinking beer
in the Place Couverte Anduze
Duet playing cover tunes
French meet the Dutch
in the Euro cup tonight
I’m going home after dinner
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