We were men of means

the taxi man said Chris

had never been to Katonah

he was right young we

were better than him

 

Jeannie was there years

before I got there gone

years after I left

 

In Copenhagen I drank and smoked a lot

nobody blamed anyone for anything

we were young and wouldn’t die for years

fucked and ate had friends that weren’t friends

no money everything was new and we didn’t give a shit 

after living five years in Manhattan and Brooklyn

now almost every minute there’s a problem

the phone dings the car beeps and no one

ever stops talking I wish they would stop

I know a painter

who’s traveling

for seven years

spending his Danish

crowns on cheap hostels

wandering around

keeping a journal

taking photos

Instagraming

then going back

to give lectures

I haven’t been

home for 17 years

I haven’t kept a journal

since I was a teenager

taken a photograph

since I was thirty

and I’ve never painted

thirty years

I'm at the wall

nothing's fun

any more

the last 

thing I 

wanted to 

be in 

Cascais

was awake

just got back from portugal hopefully

for the last time the dogs bark people

walk around yesterday dogs bark

there's more places to eat in cascais

dogs made a million euros dogs got fed

lived there 12 years no one recognizes

the dog death clean drowned laptops

in the tub dogs walk everything costs a million euros

gave away almost everything I had

you can fight go away accept the dogs

all the people have the same name

except their parents who had different same names

there was an accident on the bridge

Christ looks over Lisbon outstretched arms

antenna attached to his skull endless prayers

for dogs I went to the beach this weekend

it's only a million euros pain is Catholic

I hope for the last time had a ten gram piece

of Nepalese hash in the safe I sent down from Amsterdam

in the post ten years ago gave everything else away

because everybody takes everything dogs unhappy

in their dog world humans walking on the line behind

drunk on sleep disease money i like money but I'm alive

dogs like money they shit in the park

the Atlantic heaves and wanes storms stir the seasons

everyone forgets goes to the beach forgets what they've read

decades of poetry dumped in the trash Camões Pessoa

floating on the surface there is volleyball and the limping

frowning cheap coffee free bowls of dog water millions in dog

real estate why Spain they managed to think 

dogs don't know Europe ends at the sea and the Pyrenees

I was happy in Amsterdam people walked dogs drank and smoked 

on terraces where people belong now I'm really because slowly

and with suffering disappearing nobody dies and no one

is born in Portugal you are old or young you live with dogs

and you eat what they eat

 I

don't

know